I’m suppose to be studying for my final exams, but this storyline was stuck in my head for like a month and I can’t get rid of it, especially when I’m trying to study for Science. .>_< The idea’s still sketchy and rough, but hopefully I’ll come up with better ideas during the summer. This prologue’s going to be short, though I’ll try to write Chapter one right after this before my final exams really kick in. Also, this is my first attempt in writing an angst fanfic, yay! So bear with me, please…tehehehe ^-^

Pairing: Gackt/You, and two other ones mentioned later.
Rating: PG-13 (may change later on)
Disclaimer: I do not own any jrockers that appear in this fanfic…*sniff*

If Only You Knew

A soft ballad was played as fingers gently touched the piano keys. The music was sombre, but beautiful. However, it could not captivate any listeners for the only person in the room was its owner. The place was weakly illumined by a few burning candles as the pianist mentally embraced the fiery warmth. It was the only warmth he had now. He slowly closed his eyes, letting his fingers roam freely on the black and white keys to play his song. While pouring out his emotions, he let himself free. Yet, he didn’t mind.

Because he was alone.

That feeling dragged on, even till now. It was something that he wish to get rid of and knew he can not continue his life like this…being alone and desperate. It had been a while since he had accepted anyone as a lover. Sometimes, the thought if he can remember how to love someone disturbed him. He had been alone for too long, but he still have hope.

For he do care about someone in particular.

“Gackt, you’re still playing?”

The music stopped abruptly as Gackt blankly stared at the piano keys, not bothering to see who it was. Familiar footsteps headed towards him as Gackt mentally counted how many steps. He felt the piano bench shifted slightly, feeling another presence sitting beside him. Strong arms wrapped around his waist as he felt himself being pulled close. Gackt rested his head on his friend’s shoulders and closed his eyes.

“It sounds depressing,” You whispered to his ear. Gackt just nodded and leaned against You, enjoying the body warmth. Somehow, he didn’t feel lonely anymore, now feeling quite content being wrapped in You’s arms. “What are you thinking about?” You asked curiously. Gackt parted his mouth to speak, but immediately bit his bottom lip before he said the exact same words he had in his mind.

I was thinking about you.

“Just thinking how I can improve this song,” Gackt answered as he pressed down a random white key on the piano. Strands of light brown hair brushed his left cheek as You softly pressed his lips on his forehead. Gackt’s eyes fluttered open and looked up at the violinist. Both of their faces were a few inches apart and suddenly felt it was hard to breathe properly. He felt his body stiffen, resisting the urge to lean over and press his lips on the taller man.

“Your dears are going to cry when they hear that song,” You muttered as he unwrap his arms, breaking the embrace. Gackt felt relieved, but cold, unable to rely on the embrace for warmth. You stood up and smiled as he tugged his arm to stand up as well. To tired to argue, the vocalist weakly smiled back and stood up, letting You guide him to his bed.

Within seconds, he sat on top of the comforter, leaning his back against the wall. He watched a few of the flames died off, leaving one candle still burning in the room. The room became dimmer and it was hard to see You; only a silhouette looming above him. He felt a hand placed gently on his cheek, a thumb caressing his smooth skin. “Don’t think too much, Gaku. You have a big schedule tomorrow,” You responded.

Gackt nodded as the hand slid off his cheek. You stood up straight and headed towards the door. Gackt stared at him intently, wanting to say something more before he left. Before You’s hand touched the doorknob, he opened his mouth again to speak. “You-kun?”

You turned around and glanced at the figure leaning against the wall. “…Oyasumi…” Gackt’s voice was barely audible, but he could still manage to catch the whispered word. Ah, oyasumi,” You answered and smiled. He faced his attention back at the door and twisted the doorknob. He was about to pull the door open but Gackt began to speak again.

“You took fourteen steps tonight.”

“…What steps?”

“To reach me.”


“….it usually takes you eighteen.”

You chuckled softly and opened the door, letting a slit of light enter the dark room. You turned around again and gave Gackt one last smile. The vocalist could see You much clearer and smiled back. He watched silently as You slid out his room and began to close the door.

If only you knew…

The door was closed shut as the last burning candle flickered into darkness.

…that the person I love is you.